Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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