As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
