i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
