i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
