It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
