she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
