Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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