At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
