He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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