And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
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There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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