god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
