You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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