Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
