is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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