just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
