So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We need to get me chipped asap
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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