Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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