Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
