How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
