If i come over, it means nothing
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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