Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
