If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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