weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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