so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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