WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
