she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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