i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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