Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
