There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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