im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
