thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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