he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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