D3 body, D1 cock
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
