Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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