do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
