I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
