he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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