but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
