a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
