i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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