you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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