Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
