the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
