I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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