You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
