I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just had sex on a roof
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
