He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
