I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
