so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
