Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
