I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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