did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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