I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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