i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
