hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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