My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
