Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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