Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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