OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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