I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
